Tomorrow marks the first day of spring! Time to start thinking about the garden! The garden is thinking about itself already -- a few of these scattered warm days have sent the message to the ground that it's time to GROW... and so we have the voluntary plants showing forth their greenery: WEEDS.
This means that before I can really put the garden in, I have to spend time working against nature. Gotta pull out its offerings by the roots, and demand that the soil contribute its nutrients to the seeds that I personally plant.
Weeds are going to come up in the garden. Why not give up on the whole vegetable thing and just grow weeds... then I would feel successful! Or would I?
This is all an analogy of course. I love metaphors. I love how nature tries to teach us certain messages -- even if it means we respond by training and wrangling and bridling it. Of course I won't really just throw up my hands and serve dandelions or whatever else's seeds happened to be blown in by the wind. I've come to recognize the need for conscientious planning, then planting, and continuous weeding and cultivating.
After all, I don't want weeds for dinner!
Monday, March 19, 2018
Sunday, March 18, 2018
The Perks of Home Birth
I'm planning another home birth, and recently happened to have the opportunity to attend someone else's home birth, so the topic is on my mind: WHY??!!
If a hospital can offer things like pain medication, nurses who fulfill your needs, and reassurance that the messes involved with birth will not stain your carpet, why would anyone choose otherwise?
I can answer this question best for myself, of course, but now having attended someone else's home birth and hearing their perspectives my personal opinions are rounding out a bit.
My friend who gave me the sacred privilege of attending her home birth initially became interested in the option to birth at home because she personally hates hospitals. I don't necessarily have that strong of feelings against them, but as we discussed her disgust, I could readily understand her feelings!
For instance, hospitals are full of germs. Pregnant women are about the only healthy people who commit themselves to considerable time at the hospital (other than the employees)-- exposing themselves, their newborns, and anyone who visits them to the myriad bacteria floating around those hallways. And that robe they give you to wear that reveals your back side? Someone might have died in that same robe yesterday... and you just hope the laundry people used enough soap!
Home birth is definitely more private, more personal than at a hospital. You get to decide who is at your birth, and there are fewer surprises in that regard... no nurses who are having a bad day and take it out on you. I did have a Kirby salesman show up on my doorstep during one of my home births, but my sister quickly dealt with that unexpected guest!
The friendly nurses (as well as the not-so-friendly ones) have a certain idea of what birth looks like, and aren't sure what to do if your birth doesn't fit the mold. They're taught the textbook version of birth, which applies to only a small percentage of women: labor is about twelve hours. If it's not fast enough, "help" the mom's uterus with synthetic pitocin. Pushing shouldn't take more than three hours -- if it does, start prepping the mom for a c-section. Mom should labor in bed so it's easier to take her vitals and hook her up to the machines that measure her contractions and the baby's heartbeat. Consider the messages being sent to the mother's psyche as she is surrounded by all of these indications that her body cannot birth this baby alone... Due to the need to pay the anesthesiologist, hospitals encourage moms to get epidurals, which begs the question...
Why wouldn't someone WANT an epidural? Birth has a pretty solid reputation for being particularly painful. Why go through that if you don't have to? Isn't that like signing up for dental work and telling the dentist that you don't need to be sedated?
This is a loaded question. It gets into the nitty-gritty philosophical paradigm that people may never have been exposed to: birth is powerful and intense and genuinely among the most difficult things a woman might experience -- but it is in that experience that a woman discovers her deepest strengths, her own inner powers, her ability to face and handle and overcome this daunting deed. And in the event that she shares this experience with the father of the baby, he bonds with this amazing woman in a way that is far less likely to occur for the couple that automatically opts for the medical pain relief.
In the case of dentistry, pain indicates something is wrong. In the case of birth, powerful contractions may send "pain" signals to the brain -- but the mother who has determined to avoid pain medications (and yes, there are side effects that she's avoiding) decides to work with her body, addressing that pain as an integral part of allowing the baby to make its way through the birth canal. She doesn't get excited to feel these surges of intense power -- she just uses a variety of other methods to ease those discomforts and still allow her body, mind, and soul to participate fully in the awesome experience of bringing a baby into the world.
Along with positions, pressure-points, psychological affirmations, and various other measures, water is a birthing mother's escape! The warmth, the buoyancy, the effect of either relaxing the uterus so she can rest, or urging on the uterus so she can be done sooner -- all of these aid the birthing mother quite effectively! (And the birthing pools or inflatable tubs that many home birth midwives provide are also awesome at containing the mess associated with birth!)
In general, water birth is not allowed in hospitals. There was a hospital here nearby that decided to give it a try. Despite the positive feedback from birthing mothers, the hospital discontinued the practice due to feedback from the nurses. It was too hard to chart the things they were supposed to chart when a mom was laboring in water.
I can see the point of hospitals -- and despite her disgust for their protocol, germs, and smells, my friend can too... They are like a lifeguard at a swimming pool. We are so glad that they are there for when we need them. But if the lifeguard jumps into the pool when I'm just swimming my laps, grabs my feet and tells me I have to swim faster, he causes more problems. Some people might say, oh, that's okay, he can revive you if he makes you drown! Well, I would rather not have the drowning experience in the first place, thank you very much!
I trust my midwife to help me know if I need a hospital. I also trust my body to do what it was designed to do and deliver this blessed infant with very little help from me (or anyone else). Yes, that includes enduring the intensity of those contractions and acknowledging my ability to work with the incredible power that transforms me into a conduit for that spirit to have mortal life -- and abiding by this belief, my whole family gets to have life more abundantly!
If a hospital can offer things like pain medication, nurses who fulfill your needs, and reassurance that the messes involved with birth will not stain your carpet, why would anyone choose otherwise?
I can answer this question best for myself, of course, but now having attended someone else's home birth and hearing their perspectives my personal opinions are rounding out a bit.
My friend who gave me the sacred privilege of attending her home birth initially became interested in the option to birth at home because she personally hates hospitals. I don't necessarily have that strong of feelings against them, but as we discussed her disgust, I could readily understand her feelings!
For instance, hospitals are full of germs. Pregnant women are about the only healthy people who commit themselves to considerable time at the hospital (other than the employees)-- exposing themselves, their newborns, and anyone who visits them to the myriad bacteria floating around those hallways. And that robe they give you to wear that reveals your back side? Someone might have died in that same robe yesterday... and you just hope the laundry people used enough soap!
Home birth is definitely more private, more personal than at a hospital. You get to decide who is at your birth, and there are fewer surprises in that regard... no nurses who are having a bad day and take it out on you. I did have a Kirby salesman show up on my doorstep during one of my home births, but my sister quickly dealt with that unexpected guest!
The friendly nurses (as well as the not-so-friendly ones) have a certain idea of what birth looks like, and aren't sure what to do if your birth doesn't fit the mold. They're taught the textbook version of birth, which applies to only a small percentage of women: labor is about twelve hours. If it's not fast enough, "help" the mom's uterus with synthetic pitocin. Pushing shouldn't take more than three hours -- if it does, start prepping the mom for a c-section. Mom should labor in bed so it's easier to take her vitals and hook her up to the machines that measure her contractions and the baby's heartbeat. Consider the messages being sent to the mother's psyche as she is surrounded by all of these indications that her body cannot birth this baby alone... Due to the need to pay the anesthesiologist, hospitals encourage moms to get epidurals, which begs the question...
Why wouldn't someone WANT an epidural? Birth has a pretty solid reputation for being particularly painful. Why go through that if you don't have to? Isn't that like signing up for dental work and telling the dentist that you don't need to be sedated?
This is a loaded question. It gets into the nitty-gritty philosophical paradigm that people may never have been exposed to: birth is powerful and intense and genuinely among the most difficult things a woman might experience -- but it is in that experience that a woman discovers her deepest strengths, her own inner powers, her ability to face and handle and overcome this daunting deed. And in the event that she shares this experience with the father of the baby, he bonds with this amazing woman in a way that is far less likely to occur for the couple that automatically opts for the medical pain relief.
In the case of dentistry, pain indicates something is wrong. In the case of birth, powerful contractions may send "pain" signals to the brain -- but the mother who has determined to avoid pain medications (and yes, there are side effects that she's avoiding) decides to work with her body, addressing that pain as an integral part of allowing the baby to make its way through the birth canal. She doesn't get excited to feel these surges of intense power -- she just uses a variety of other methods to ease those discomforts and still allow her body, mind, and soul to participate fully in the awesome experience of bringing a baby into the world.
Along with positions, pressure-points, psychological affirmations, and various other measures, water is a birthing mother's escape! The warmth, the buoyancy, the effect of either relaxing the uterus so she can rest, or urging on the uterus so she can be done sooner -- all of these aid the birthing mother quite effectively! (And the birthing pools or inflatable tubs that many home birth midwives provide are also awesome at containing the mess associated with birth!)
In general, water birth is not allowed in hospitals. There was a hospital here nearby that decided to give it a try. Despite the positive feedback from birthing mothers, the hospital discontinued the practice due to feedback from the nurses. It was too hard to chart the things they were supposed to chart when a mom was laboring in water.
I can see the point of hospitals -- and despite her disgust for their protocol, germs, and smells, my friend can too... They are like a lifeguard at a swimming pool. We are so glad that they are there for when we need them. But if the lifeguard jumps into the pool when I'm just swimming my laps, grabs my feet and tells me I have to swim faster, he causes more problems. Some people might say, oh, that's okay, he can revive you if he makes you drown! Well, I would rather not have the drowning experience in the first place, thank you very much!
I trust my midwife to help me know if I need a hospital. I also trust my body to do what it was designed to do and deliver this blessed infant with very little help from me (or anyone else). Yes, that includes enduring the intensity of those contractions and acknowledging my ability to work with the incredible power that transforms me into a conduit for that spirit to have mortal life -- and abiding by this belief, my whole family gets to have life more abundantly!
Tuesday, March 13, 2018
My house is messy...
My house is messy...
... But it is a revolving mess!
This makes me feel better about the messiness.
I do have a few stacks of papers or miscellaneous clutter that piles up and stays that way a bit longer than I like to confess, but in general the mess you see today will be different than the one we had on display yesterday! And come again tomorrow (if you dare) and yet a whole 'nother set of toys will be strewn all over.
We do clean up! We "bless our home" every day, often more than once (especially in the kitchen). It just doesn't STAY clean very long.
This is okay with me because it means we aren't just watching TV all day! It means we're living and loving and learning! ... and these adventures include books, crayons, figurines, costumes, Legos, and play dough...
Unfortunately, messes can be dangerous -- I personally have had to save myself from tripping on toys or suffered the pain of stepping on Legos. When a visitor comes, I warn them to watch out for floor "decor" that could land them on the floor as well.
Sometimes I wonder how I would feel if the Lord himself were to come to my home unannounced. Would my family's obvious inability to immediately put away each item they touch be a source of shame? Or would I trust in the Lord's all-knowing mercy to be able to focus on what the items are and how they indicate our hearts, our goals, our desires to improve and progress, our efforts to learn to share, to interact kindly and calmly, our patience with each other (and with our messes?)
"Cleanliness is next to Godliness" is not actually a scriptural phrase, much to my relief! I acknowledge that the temple, the Lord's home, is kept spotless -- as well as childless! Maybe my home's messiness will lessen as the years go by and my children outgrow their short attention spans. But I'm not counting down the days. I strive to love these little children like Jesus did and spend my time reading to them rather than wrangling with their wreckage.
Meanwhile, the messes revolve and that's good enough for me. They don't stagnate, they don't get ignored, and they don't cause too many injuries. Our schedule includes clean-up time, but the priority is play-and-laugh-and-create-and-imagine-and-enjoy-each-other-and-our-toys time! The amount of time is definitely imbalanced, but in a way that I'm comfortable -- and I think my kids are too. Our sincere apologies to those who are not -- but you're always welcome into our abode if you are able to trust that the mess is not permanent and just overlook it for the time you're here and focus on the fun instead!
... But it is a revolving mess!
This makes me feel better about the messiness.
I do have a few stacks of papers or miscellaneous clutter that piles up and stays that way a bit longer than I like to confess, but in general the mess you see today will be different than the one we had on display yesterday! And come again tomorrow (if you dare) and yet a whole 'nother set of toys will be strewn all over.
We do clean up! We "bless our home" every day, often more than once (especially in the kitchen). It just doesn't STAY clean very long.
This is okay with me because it means we aren't just watching TV all day! It means we're living and loving and learning! ... and these adventures include books, crayons, figurines, costumes, Legos, and play dough...
Unfortunately, messes can be dangerous -- I personally have had to save myself from tripping on toys or suffered the pain of stepping on Legos. When a visitor comes, I warn them to watch out for floor "decor" that could land them on the floor as well.
Sometimes I wonder how I would feel if the Lord himself were to come to my home unannounced. Would my family's obvious inability to immediately put away each item they touch be a source of shame? Or would I trust in the Lord's all-knowing mercy to be able to focus on what the items are and how they indicate our hearts, our goals, our desires to improve and progress, our efforts to learn to share, to interact kindly and calmly, our patience with each other (and with our messes?)
"Cleanliness is next to Godliness" is not actually a scriptural phrase, much to my relief! I acknowledge that the temple, the Lord's home, is kept spotless -- as well as childless! Maybe my home's messiness will lessen as the years go by and my children outgrow their short attention spans. But I'm not counting down the days. I strive to love these little children like Jesus did and spend my time reading to them rather than wrangling with their wreckage.
Meanwhile, the messes revolve and that's good enough for me. They don't stagnate, they don't get ignored, and they don't cause too many injuries. Our schedule includes clean-up time, but the priority is play-and-laugh-and-create-and-imagine-and-enjoy-each-other-and-our-toys time! The amount of time is definitely imbalanced, but in a way that I'm comfortable -- and I think my kids are too. Our sincere apologies to those who are not -- but you're always welcome into our abode if you are able to trust that the mess is not permanent and just overlook it for the time you're here and focus on the fun instead!
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