The Bad Boy in Esther's class

I used to homeschool my children -- all of them. Nowadays, I have one official homeschooler and two little ones who are learning every moment they are at home (and anywhere else, for that matter).

I have LOADS of reasons to homeschool! When I was a college student and I was introduced to the concept of homeschooling, the first thing that came to mind was: "Oooohh! I wish I could have been homeschooled!"

It sounded so great -- to be able to use my time according to my own interests and not have to play the "game" of figuring out what the teacher wanted and trying to meet those requirements rather than trying to get educated.

And, surprise, surprise, I struggled in the social area.

For the first six miserable years of my public schooling, I was the nerd. After that, I somehow broke out of my shell and learned to smile and enjoy some of what public school had to offer in the area of social life... I even got voted onto the homecoming court my senior year.

So, I can't say the social reasons are my biggest reasons to choose homeschooling, but they are definitely counted among them.

When my oldest child, who has an October birthday -- which translates into being the oldest in the class, was already reading before he even started kindergarten, I thought, "Hey! I'll give him the gift I never had: the gift of not having to deal with all the drama at school."

No homework (although some could argue that all of homeschool is homework); no tests; no grading; no kids to bully you...

Well, for a variety of reasons, which I won't list here, that oldest son (plus my twin daughters) are now in public school. Maybe they'll decide to homeschool again... maybe not. At this point, I'm leaving it up to them.

Every once in a while, they'll describe some situation going on at school, and I try really hard to figure out how to interject into the conversation something along the lines of: "Hmmmm, I wonder if we ever had a similar situation when we homeschooled. Hmmmm..."

One of the recent issues Esther has discussed with me is the bad boy in her class. The teacher has been losing her patience with him lately, particularly about how he doesn't ever do his homework. She threatened that he would have to miss recess if he doesn't start bringing back worksheets.

Of course, I'm not there having to deal with him day in and day out. I think that is the main reason I was able to have the imaginary response as follows:

Compassion towards the boy, who must be the victim of apathetic parents.

Sincere concern about his future and deep ponderings about how to help him move past the obstacle of an undesirable home life.

Calm replies to his claims of having not done the homework, and encouragement and motivation to put in the extra effort, even if it means missing recess.

It's so easy for me to conjure up such happy images, because I am not an underpaid, overworked teacher having to handle not just the bad boy, but twenty-eight other children as well, five days a week.

I sometimes wish I could homeschool that bad boy! Give him the gift that I always wanted, and that I hope three of my children will soon figure out they want as well.

BOOK REPORT

I keep books on my bedside table. I suppose that's not unusual.

What IS unusual is that they are far LESS likely to get read if they are there... because I tend to fall asleep before I get around to reading them.

If I really, really, really, really want/need to read a book (like for the awesome book club I belong to), I have to carry it around with me all day long.

Well, one book that has sat on my bedside table for months, maybe even years, is called The Entitlement Trap, by Richard and Linda Eyre. I have finally gotten around to reading it! Not because I carried it around the house, but because my baby, whom I still nurse to sleep in my bed, has started to ask -- or rather demand -- that the light stay on.

As much as I love to sleep, now that I have read this book, I kick myself that I let sleep take priority over this PHENOMENAL book -- I should have read it AGES ago and solved all of my parenting problems!

The Eyres have been writing parenting books for decades. They have nine children of their own, all of whom have at least a bachelor's degree and have served missions for our church. I have read several of their books and have had the pleasure of meeting the authors more than once. In fact, that very book that lay ignored on my bedside table is signed by them!

Anywho, their credentials are significant, and I probably could have endorsed this, their 46th book, even before I read it. However, I am so glad that I read it. It is simply incredible in its value! It is a succinct summary of their best and most important parenting practices, all compiled in this book for the purpose of helping our children recognize entitlement for the trap that it is rather than being tricked into believing it solves problems.

The authors are so experienced in many ways -- not just with the raising of their nine, but also with the writing of their many books, that this one is like the culmination of all of that invaluable experience, ready for me to put the plans into action.

That's the hard part. Unfortunately, metaphorically speaking, sometimes the ideas and ideals I learn through reading stay on the bedside table of my brain while I opt to sleep instead of making the effort to behave differently based on the book.

Well, this book report is my first step in choosing to act! One of the major themes of the book is goal-setting, and teaching our children to do it by doing it ourselves. So I am putting in writing the goal to write a blog post daily! Hooray! I did it today!! I pledge to do it again tomorrow!

E in SMILE... should be for eating...

For the first time in my life, I joined a book club! Having never belonged to one before, I'm not sure if the potluck part of it is normal or not... but it's sure great! Such a delight to get together with other mothers and discuss uplifting and interesting material. And eat. Yum!

Interestingly, the woman who started the book club ten years ago shared her story of how it started. She had been trying to get one going for two or three years and only got sparse attendance. Then she added the potluck element... All of a sudden, she had so many moms showing up that she had to limit the number to 25!

So, I admit, the "E" in S.M.I.L.E. really should be for eating. It makes me feel better to remember back to when I was hosting the convention for which I originally made up the S.M.I.L.E. acronym, I did make sure that a hot catered lunch was included in the price... I wonder how many women signed up just for that?!

Eating makes me happy. (The Clueless Mama's baloney-face)

Alas, the "E" is NOT for eating. It is for Education. And that works out in the end... After all, similar to nourishment for the body, education is essential to feeling healthy in the brain.

I've noticed that my brain does, indeed, get hungry! No, no, no, not in a weird zombie-eat-your-brains kind of way.... You know the saying: "She has a real appetite for learning!" That was written about the Clueless Mama herself! I happen to know that if my gray matter isn't getting fed every once in a while, it gets very mushy and starts leaking out my ears and I serve it to my kids for breakfast on oatmeal day. Oooohh, gross, sorry... I guess I did end up talking in the weird zombie-eat-your-brains kind of way....

The fact is, I don't like being clueless. I don't like being in a situation with my kiddos that I don't know how to handle. I don't like feeling inadequate and inexperienced. And I KNOW that there are MILLIONS of mothers out there who HAVE a clue! They have been in exactly the same situations with their children and they have figured out how to handle it! They have experience and adequacy that I want to beg, borrow, or steal -- and feed to my starving brain!!!

Mothering is not something colleges offer a Ph.D. program in. Graduation from high school isn't even necessary before you can bring a baby into the world. The lack of education required for motherhood simply does not match the job description... we cradle-rockers need to know what the heck we're doing because the next generation will be affected by our actions whether we want to admit it or not.

I will now climb down off my soapbox and go on my date with my husband. TTFN!