What's a Tantrum to God?

My four year old is, well, let's say, precocious.

He comes up with some big plans sometimes, and sometimes I let him carry them out.

Sometimes, though, I can't.

The other day, early in the morning, Reed came to me with some of his big plans:

"Mom, Mom, Mom -- I just decided to have a picnic! Yeah! This will be awesome!"

"Oh, a picnic lunch! That does sound fun."

"No, Mom, not a picnic lunch... a picnic RIGHT NOW! Call Naomi and Abbie and Ellie and....."

"Reed, it's not even 8am. We can't call your friends because they are probably still asleep. Plus, we have to get ready for Joyschool!"

I further emphasize Joyschool in an attempt to distract him away from the fact that I'm raining on his parade, er, his picnic. It is an epic fail.

"Mom, I don't wanna go to Joyschool. I wanna have a PICNIC. In the FRONT yard. Right NOW."

I feel like he has added the detail about location to see just how far he can push. We don't play in the front yard without an adult... Stay calm, Mama...

"Reed, if you want a picnic right now, you may go eat your breakfast in the backyard. Hurry, so we can get it cleaned up and get your Great Eight done in time for Joyschool!"

His response to this: sobbing, screaming, throwing things, TANTRUM. I no longer want to use the word "precocious" to describe him... I want a stronger, less complimentary word. But I will choose to just weather the storm, and love him into calming down.

I think God must feel the same way with us sometimes! We come to him with our big plans. And because he can see the whole picture, he just might shoot us down. Ouch! And we just might yell back at Him that we WANT IT RIGHT NOW, just the way we are visualizing it.

He might be trying all the same tactics, explanations, diversions, gentle reminders of rules...

And we sob, scream, throw things...

And finally, we calm down as we sense that his foresight and his firmness are love, and we choose to trust that he knows best, rather than keep ramming ourselves up against him.

Thank goodness for his patience, his compassion, his example. May I seek his help as I attempt to give my children a similar love -- a love that allows for tantrums, and then welcomes back the whiner when he's ready to re-focus.

The Timer: our friend and our enemy

I confess, I'm a bit of a wuss. I just don't like to be the bad guy. I avoid confrontation like I avoid eating from the garbage.

This is often a good thing. It helps me to put things in perspective and only confront someone or some situation when I know it is necessary, so a lot of nit-picky, dumb things are allowed to roll off my back and not cause trouble.

Usually, because of my fear-based procrastination, I wait -- and wait -- and wait -- until a good time. With that waiting, a lot of the heat-of-the-moment emotion that can cause confrontations to go sour is removed... Plus, I've had a chance to roll the words around in my head and work to come across in the way that I want to: sincere, caring, seeking to solve the problem and not just get on someone's case.

Well, as a mom, there's not always time for all that avoidance! Sometimes, ya just gotta take charge! Be decisive! Make things right! Judge, jury, and executioner, all in less than 30 seconds -- like when the sweet little wee ones won't share with each other, or sweet older not-so-wee ones won't get their chores done...

However, because it is in my nature to avoid such situations, I have managed to come up with a way to handle them without becoming the bad guy:

Introducing a fascinating little invention called: the TIMER.

Not just for avoiding burning dinner! Now also, for avoiding taking the heat from frustrated toddlers and teens.

We use a timer to help us know how long one kiddo gets to play with the toy. Oh, what's that noise? The timer is beeping? That means it is now time for the other kiddo to get to play with the toy. Can't argue with the inanimate object of the timer!

We have a timer in the bathroom to help the kiddos know their shower time is up! No more yelling about saving hot water for the next bather.

May the timer bless your life as it has blessed mine!!!