Cell Phones Didn't Exist in the 80's

Part of what makes me feel clueless is how to handle issues that my parents didn't have to handle! I can't think back to what age I was when they thought I could handle a cell phone... I can't ask them for advice about what kinds of rules to put in place about texting...

Situations like this make me realize how important it is to base my parenting decisions on fundamental principles -- things that aren't going to change over time, although how to apply the principles to the changing times can still be a matter to discuss.

Oh, here we go! This seems safe! I can lock them in, way out in the boondocks, like the bad mommy in the Tangled movie. How enlightened I feel!

I found a Cell phone Safe Use Agreement newspaper clipping, dated Tuesday, August 18, 2009. It was written by JoAnn Hamilton, who was reporting about the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families.

Protection -- I like that! And "Safe" is one of my simplified main laws to guide behavior.

So, I've simplified the agreement for my own purposes, as well as broadened it a bit to apply to the internet:

1: I will not share any personal information, including my date of birth, address, phone number, specifics about places I frequent (school/church/work). I fully recognize the threat this is to my safety if it were to get in the hands of someone who intends to hurt me.

2: My cell phone and internet usage is to be used ONLY for truthful, encouraging, helpful, and respectful communication -- NEVER for threatening or bullying anyone.

3: I will never use vulgar or sexually explicit language, and will refuse to communicate with anyone who begins using such language with me.

4: I recognize that there is no such thing as real privacy when it comes to anything I post on the internet, and that whether I give permission or not, whether I know it or not, whether I intend it or not, any kind of content (text, images, etc) can end up anywhere in the world.

5: I acknowledge that people can use the internet to be deceptive about themselves and their intentions and that it is fully impossible for me to know whether the people I'm communicating with are or aren't who they say they are.

6: My parents will have full access to any social networking sites that I choose to use and I will respect their input and feedback about what I post.

7: My parents can ask to see my cell phone at any time. I will be completely open and willing to unlock it for them to read texts or anything else. My parents can set up hours of use/non-use, as well as other rules that I will agree to, such as not loaning it, not taking it to school, etc. I will accept the consequences of not abiding by any of the rules.

8: I will work to earn and keep the trust that my parents need to have in me in order for me to have the privilege of using my cell phone/iPod/etc.

Print it out, read it with your child, and then both of you sign and date it! And DON'T be afraid to take the little bugger away!!!