Just Kidding!

Little Miriam's personality is really coming out. And I'm lovin' it!

Today, she repeatedly did the following:

"Waaa-waaaa" (real, true, crying-sobbing tantrum)

Then, suddenly:

Bright eyes, sweet smile, and she joyfully says: "Just Kidding!"

It made me laugh with delight! Woo-hoo!

She found her switch! And she's using it. I am determined to follow her example next time I'm wailing and whining and complaining... which is more often than I care to admit.

(She just performed this again WHILE I was typing this! I probably shouldn't test her limits...)

Post Script: Another awesome characteristic that is coming out in this sweet girl is peacemaking. The other day, I told her she was funny. She said, "No, you're funny!"

I countered with "No, you're  funny!" And she followed it up with, "No, you're funny!"

I chose to continue the argument, and told her once again, "No, you're funny."

And this wise child put both hands on my cheeks and said, "Mom, how 'bout we BOTH be funny!"

Okay, Miriam.

What's a Tantrum to God?

My four year old is, well, let's say, precocious.

He comes up with some big plans sometimes, and sometimes I let him carry them out.

Sometimes, though, I can't.

The other day, early in the morning, Reed came to me with some of his big plans:

"Mom, Mom, Mom -- I just decided to have a picnic! Yeah! This will be awesome!"

"Oh, a picnic lunch! That does sound fun."

"No, Mom, not a picnic lunch... a picnic RIGHT NOW! Call Naomi and Abbie and Ellie and....."

"Reed, it's not even 8am. We can't call your friends because they are probably still asleep. Plus, we have to get ready for Joyschool!"

I further emphasize Joyschool in an attempt to distract him away from the fact that I'm raining on his parade, er, his picnic. It is an epic fail.

"Mom, I don't wanna go to Joyschool. I wanna have a PICNIC. In the FRONT yard. Right NOW."

I feel like he has added the detail about location to see just how far he can push. We don't play in the front yard without an adult... Stay calm, Mama...

"Reed, if you want a picnic right now, you may go eat your breakfast in the backyard. Hurry, so we can get it cleaned up and get your Great Eight done in time for Joyschool!"

His response to this: sobbing, screaming, throwing things, TANTRUM. I no longer want to use the word "precocious" to describe him... I want a stronger, less complimentary word. But I will choose to just weather the storm, and love him into calming down.

I think God must feel the same way with us sometimes! We come to him with our big plans. And because he can see the whole picture, he just might shoot us down. Ouch! And we just might yell back at Him that we WANT IT RIGHT NOW, just the way we are visualizing it.

He might be trying all the same tactics, explanations, diversions, gentle reminders of rules...

And we sob, scream, throw things...

And finally, we calm down as we sense that his foresight and his firmness are love, and we choose to trust that he knows best, rather than keep ramming ourselves up against him.

Thank goodness for his patience, his compassion, his example. May I seek his help as I attempt to give my children a similar love -- a love that allows for tantrums, and then welcomes back the whiner when he's ready to re-focus.

Cherishing the Doing

Cherish the doing a little more, 

and the getting it done a little less! 

~ Anna Quindlen

I love this quote.

Too often, I'm trying so hard to get a bunch of stuff crossed off the to-do list, thinking that once those check-marks are there, I'll be able to do the fun stuff.

Really, though, the list just keeps growing... and that can be a suffocating feeling.

I joke about that with my kiddos, because the laundry is never really done -- unless we take a day to run around naked! Come to think of it, that does sound fun!

So there's one way to make the doing a little more fun... rather than waiting until the "done" to celebrate.

Okay, so nudity might be slightly inappropriate -- but ya gotta admit, there's nothin' like a dancin' two-year-old's flubby blubber! On the other hand, I don't really want anyone to see my flubby  blubber.

But I can still dance!

That might be one way to cherish the doing a little more -- making the doing a little more fun. Turn up the music!

Let myself eat a little chocolate during the doing, not just as a reward afterwards! (Maybe I'll burn the calories off before they have a chance to settle...)

Take time to teach the little ones how to do the doing... they want to know, really they do! And that counts as quality time, during the doing!

What else can I do to cherish the doing a little more???

Trick or Treat

I have to share about my adorable four-year-old...

To start tonight's Halloween festivities, we headed over to the church for Trunk-or-Treat. He enjoyed gathering goodies but we got pretty cold and headed home before it was over.

At home, we had people knocking on our door, and this is when things got really fun for Reed!

This precious boy got so excited as the ghouls and goblins called out "Trick-or-Treat" that he opened the door and let them have candy out of his own loot bag!

I showed him our stash of stuff to give away, but each time he heard a knock, he opted to give from his own until it dwindled away to nothing.

The joy on his face was the kind that only comes from selfless giving. His glow lit up the Halloween night! 

It may have only been matched by my glow as a proud mom watching this innate sense of happiness derived from making others happy!

Chocolate

What is it about chocolate?!?

Why does it hold me in its evil grasp??

I am suffering today because I had chocolate for breakfast.

I know, I know, that's my own darn fault. I can control what I put in my mouth!! (Or can I?)

That seems to be the problem with chocolate. I just don't seem to have any self-control when it comes to this particular bean.

Well, in all honesty, I'm an all-or-nothin' kinda gal. If I've sworn it off, I can succeed in not eating it. But if I've decided to allow myself an indulgence, it takes over my whole life. And I end up eating it for breakfast. ARGH!

Oh, I quickly followed it up with somethin' healthy, but it's done its damage... and made me want more.

Instead of giving in to the calls from the cupboard, I'm blogging about it! Gotta find me some support. I know you're out there, fellow choco-holic mamas.

How do you successfully control your cravings? Or do you?!?

Should I just give in?

My cute little niece, Lucy, would say yes.

She's a twin. Her twin brother, Benjamin, and she were celebrating their fifth birthday at my house. When the ice cream was all gone and the only thing left in the bowl was the hot fudge sauce, I asked if I should clean it up or if she wanted to just eat up the chocolate-ness.

Lucy exclaimed:

"Yummmm... chocolate-ness! Welcome to my world, Benjamin!"

You Won't Find Ada on Facebook

I want to give a public shout out to one of my son's friends, Ada.

She's a cute girl, eighth-grade, pretty smile. But you won't find that smile on facebook -- anymore, anyways.

I noticed her final post as I was scanning my son's wall. "I'm deleting my facebook account. Call me."

Seems like a monumental decision in a young teen's life...

So when she came by after school today, I decided to bring it up, in that cool and casual way I try to have while talking with my son's friends...

"Ada, I have to ask, how did you decide to leave the world of facebook?"

Luckily, as she was sucking on her otter pop, she felt comfortable enough to answer: "A few reasons... first, there's just too much drama on facebook. People can't tell when you're being sarcastic or whatever.

"Also, my dad was telling me about how facebook is changing its privacy policy at the end of this month, and I just don't wanna have all my photos and whatever available to the public.

"I used to sort of need facebook for my friends to be able to get hold of me, but now they all have phones and we can just text.

"So, this decision for less drama and more privacy, is basically about following my inner hippie." (She does, in fact, wear dreadlocks).

Wow!

I have to say: Yay for you, Ada! Yay for your "inner hippie" and the peace it is leading you towards! Makes me wanna go back to the post and click that ubiquitous "Like" button!

I'm not at the point where I feel the necessity to delete my facebook account. But her example has gotten me a step closer to being willing to take that seemingly drastic action.

Weird, isn't it, that, before the entity of facebook is even ten years old, leaving facebook would seem so crazy?!? It's really infiltrated our lifestyles. Weird, indeed. Luckily, Ada's not worried about being weird.

Yay for Ada!

Another Book Report

I have a criminal past.

I stood before a judge about 9 1/2 years ago, when I was young and dumb. I'm embarrassed to tell you why, because it was definitely a Clueless Mama thing to do. Promise you'll still love me?!?! I promise that I'm not a repeat offender...

Here it is:

I left my toddler asleep in the car while I ran in an office supply store and made copies out of a book I was borrowing.

The book was entitled "The Complete Tightwad Gazette" -- and I thought I was following its principles by making copies instead of buying my own.

Well, I should have been arrested for MORE than child abandonment -- I should have also served time for copyright infringement!

For the record, I didn't actually serve time. I paid a fine and then, for personal penance, I bought the book.

It's so worth every penny to own! 

The author, Amy Dacyczyn has lived such a thrifty life, and has such a wealth of information to share! And she has fun sharing it -- her writing is witty and inviting.

Sometimes the subject of saving (not spending) can come across as depressing, and requiring rigorous self-discipline.

In Amy's book, which is actually a compilation of six years of newsletters, economizing is an adventure, pursuing creative, ingenious ways to combat how expensive life is. We feel like celebrating every time she helps us figure out how to pinch those pennies.

She is also primarily a mom! So it definitely feels like everything applies to my current profession. There are birthday party ideas! There are insights on how to grocery shop effectively and go garage sale-ing. She covers fixing up the house, from decor to repairs.

There are recipes, and even instructions on how to make up your own recipes! There are even ideas on how to diet for cheap.

Traveling often seems out of the question for those of us on a strict budget, but she even addresses this topic in a way that makes the world wide open!

She even teaches us how to save time, since, after all, time is money.

AND it made me decide to follow ALL the laws, even copyright ones, and buy this book!