Christmas Joy

Today was just about perfect!

It started with my delightful children being patient while Daddy read Luke 2.

Then they enjoyed passing out presents and watching one another receive. Really! They weren't too anxious to get on with ripping open their own -- they were sincerely interested in what everyone else was opening and took turns with grace. Sweet!

Then our cousins and aunts and uncles came over to share the Christmas Casserole, and my children shared toys and played and gifted and laughed and made happy memories with extended family. I didn't have that opportunity much growing up, so it always strikes me as a beautiful thing when cousins interact, but especially when they do so pleasantly.

Then it was time to head over to the other side of the extended family for more joyful bonding experiences. Seriously -- today was a blessed day of loving one another, like a little piece of heaven on earth.

How grateful I am for such an amazing extended family! For everyone's willingness to just get along despite our idiosyncrasies. We're well aware that we're not perfect, but we love each other anyways because we're committed to loving each other and putting each other's happiness so high on each other's priority-lists that we all know our happiness will be taken care of, so we can relax and relish in selfLESSness and not bend to the lows of selfISHness.

Sitcoms nowadays make it look like holidays are great, *except* for the part about getting together with the dreaded in-laws. Well, my Christmas was merry mainly *because* of my fabulous in-laws! I'm so grateful for them and for their good example over the years. It's rubbed off even on my side of the extended family!

Don't get me started...

My son had an excellent idea today: invite his cousin, Ellie, over to play!

I phoned Ellie's mom (my husband's brother's wife, Becky) and made the arrangements -- and what a fun afternoon we had... because when Ellie comes to play, Becky and I get to "play" in the mommy way -- we chat!

Guess what? I'm sure you can't tell by the fact that I blog, but here's a little secret about me: I like to chat.

I breathe best in the oxygen of good conversation and deep discussion and witty banter and thoughtful verbalization on a variety of subjects!

The problem is, sometimes I have a hard time shutting my mouth and letting the other person give their two cents... especially if the other person has asked a question and shown a sincere interest in my answer, long-winded though it may be.

Well... Becky brought up homeschooling... and I hope she doesn't regret it!

I don't homeschool all of my children full-time at this point. But that doesn't mean I don't love it. In fact, as I shpeeled off to the willing listener, I realized how much I love it...

I love how adventurous it is! (Homeschooling is a misnomer, because we rarely stay home. Maybe carschool or museumschool or fieldtripschool would be better titles!)

I love how my kids really, truly absorb as we participate in a wide array of activities. Their interest-led learning turns them into little stinkin' smartie-pants...  and I love that!

I love how I go to bed exhausted after a full day of taking advantage of learning opportunities, and learning a lot myself -- homeschooling schools me!

So, Becky, I'm sorry I spouted off and that it was so hard to stop me. I'm glad you agreed to take the book even if it was just as a way to tame the wild beast of me! And if you do decide to homeschool, I hope you'll come over often and let our kids play, and let us chat!

Who is the Coach?

Note: Our family has been discussing what it means to be a family team. These two different links will lead you to other posts where we address this topic, covering other elements of Team-ship (Team-hood? Team-ness?) in greater detail.

Initially, the question of "Who is the Coach of the Family Team?" seems to have an obvious answer: Mom and Dad!

Thinking about the role of Coach more specifically, though, particularly in context of Life being the playing field, we decided that Heavenly Father better fits that description.

For one thing, Mom and Dad are out on the playing field of Life right along with our kiddos. We're figuring out the Game as we go, too. We might have been on the field a little longer than the children, kind of like being Seniors in High School versus the Pee-Wee Football Team or Little-Leaguers.

Heavenly Father, on the other hand, is so knowledgeable about the Game -- being that He is omniscient, and all! He has studied the opposition and knows their tactics. Remember: in the case of the Family Team, we don't compete against other families, but rather against those forces that are trying to break down our family.

These forces come in all shapes and sizes: scary things like immorality and addictions; ugly things like vulgarity and violence; things that disguise themselves as good, like over-scheduling or over-indulgence; sneaky things like selfishness and pride.

Heavenly Father asks a lot of us, just like any good coach would. He requires us to build our muscles individually, in preparation, long before we compete in games. He wants us to workout on our own as well as show up to practice day in and day out, and scrimmage a bit. He knows what our individual challenges are and sets up situations to help us develop the skills we need to overcome those weaknesses. He has developed the Ultimate PlayBook, aka the Scriptures!

So, what other positions do we need to define?

Team Captain: Jesus Christ! He came to play on the field, too. He sets the example. He'll call the shots (if we let him). He takes the heat for us if we fail. And he encourages us to get up and try again.

Cheerleaders: Mothers! Okay, that might be a little gender-typing going on there... but for real, I LOVE cheering my kids on!

Waterboy: Dad! Ha, just kidding... although, in our family, he does a good job of making sure we have the Living Water in our lives.

Referee or Umpire? Hmmmm... I think this would be the oldest child, at least in our family. He has already discovered the right way to do everything, so he makes sure everyone else lives up to that!

Other position titles are sport specific, like quarterback, pitcher, goalie, scrum half (that's a rugby term!), attacker (lacrosse!), or chaser (quidditch).

I'm sure each of us can think of ways our individual children fit into these various roles... and interestingly, we can mix sports metaphors on our family teams, because of the way WINNING is defined differently!

Cuppa Reese's

As a Mormon, I don't drink coffee. Nope, no cuppa Joe for me...

And that's okay!  ...because if I were dependent on THAT cuppa, I may never have invented THIS cuppa:

I call it: Cuppa Reese's!

It doesn't actually have any Reese's in it, so maybe I'm breaking some kind of trademark laws or something. But it does have chocolate and peanut butter in it, so really I am honoring the genius of the Reese's people by naming this concoction after their incredible delectable combination of ingredients.

Two things separate my recipe from the Reese's product:
It's drinkable!
It's good for me!

So, guess what we start with? If you're familiar with how I do my smoothies, you'll guess the first couple of ingredients:

Handful of spinach (so we're strong to the finish!) -- stuffed down into the bottom of the blender

1/4 to 1/3 C. Almond milk (or other -- coconut would be yummy!)

Frozen Banana Chunks ( like about 1 and 1/2 banana's-worth)

1/4 cup of cocoa powder (I'm also willing to go halfsies on this with carob)

1/3-1/2 cup of peanut butter

1 tsp vanilla extract

A tablespoon or two of Udo's (though the peanut butter has enough oil in it to provide the creaminess -- this is just to sneak in some Omegas -- so if you don't have any, no worries)

Blend 'er up!

Fit for a princess!

How does a family team WIN?

Note: Yesterday, I started typin' up what our family talked about when we introduced the concept of how our family is like a team... Of course, I don't like to make you stay and read my blog post all day long, so to keep it short, I just broke it up into segments. Here it continues:

Generally speaking, teams have a GROUP goal: WINNING! What does this mean as a family? After all, it's not like we're really competing against other families, right? We're simply striving to be STRONG, so it's like we want victory based on how well we fight against behaviors that would weaken our family ties...

During our Family Discussion about our Family Team, we decided WINNING means to LOVE GOD and LOVE ONE ANOTHER, no matter what, and to make sure each family member feels that love based on how we interact with each other. (Sound familiar?)

We acknowledged that this plan for victory requires a LOT of PRACTICE -- like, DAILY -- kind of like sports teams! So, this indicates that we need to spend time with our family on a daily basis -- not just living in the same house watching the same TV, but actually interacting!

Conversing!
Playing!
... and praying and laughing and crying and hugging and high-fiving and working and hobby-ing together...

Mealtime!
Attending church together!
Supporting one another in various endeavors!

Maybe even having Family Home Evening, which Mormons may have started, but it's not like they charge a fee for people of other faiths wanting to do it!

We also determined that some areas of behavior are like games of varying importance. Yeah, yeah, we want to win them all, but sometimes even the best coaches choose to let a team play less-than-their best so they can use their energy more wisely in higher-stakes games.

Can we stand to "lose" a little in "games" (or scrimmages) like tidiness?

Yes... but when it comes to things like loyalty, selflessness, and forgiveness -- these are like the Play-offs! The World Series! The Super Bowl! -- so we need to be playing with all our energy, effort, and fortitude.

(Wow! Fortitude! That word just flowed out of my fingers while I was typing!!! What is fortitude? Well, it sounds like an awesome 'tude! I often ask my kids to change their 'tudes, and from now on, I'm going to encourage them to change it to Fortitude!!!)

Individual members of the team have their own goals, based on what position they play. So the quarterback is not going to have the same goals as the cheerleaders! These ideas will be discussed, or at least the beginnings of the possible, awesomely-interesting discussion, in tomorrow's post!!!

Family TEAM!

Every Monday night, we hold a family meeting. We're committed to it! Monday nights are considered so special, we don't sign up for sports or turn on the TV or allow any other distractions to fragment our Family Home Evening (the title our Church gives to it).

We had a great discussion the other night about our family being a team. I led the discussion, and everyone contributed some amazing insights. I think the way the discussion unfolded was, in itself, a team effort!

First, I had everyone close their eyes and visualize a team -- whatever came to their mind first. Then everyone reported, and we took notes about their comments.

My oldest child pictured the Broncos, his favorite football team. Specifically, he had in mind their logo and the Peyton Manning jersey that his Grami Tami (my mom) gave to him for his birthday. So, for our notes, we wrote down there are individual team members, like Peyton Manning. We also wrote down that teams are often identifiable by certain artwork and outward appearances.

Next, my husband brought up the Red Sox and how they just won the World Series because of their beards! (Okay, I suppose the cause and effect *might* be questionable). We made a note about team solidarity, and keeping on attempting to win no matter how many losses precede the final victory! We pointed out that some games seem to have greater importance than others...

The twins had in mind (yes, they had the same thing in mind -- they are, after all, identical) our favorite university, BYU, and its rival, U of U. Upon further questioning, though, it turns out one of them was thinking of basketball while the other was picturing football. So we wrote down the fact that there are different sports, and that there are competitions -- but not JUST competitions: the teams practice a lot!

My four year old heard the word team and said, "Winning!" We discussed that there are parties upon winning!

My second oldest, Truman, pictured a team of people playing Dungeons and Dragons. This brought up the fact that not all teams are sports teams, and this served as a nice segue into our Family Team discussion.

So, keeping in mind all of the observations about teams we discussed already, how can we apply these to the concept of a Family Team?

Come surfin' tomorrow to the Clueless Mama Blog for all the exciting details! (This post was getting too long...) Same Bat-time, same Bat-website...

Bank of Dad

My brother-in-law, Kevin, coined this term: "Bank of Dad."

I heard his family using this phrase, and so I decided to get nosey -- and I'm glad I did! I questioned him about all of the gritty details -- and I've learned a lot -- not just from his generous descriptions, but then from my attempts at implementation for my own family.

So, are you interested? Wanna get started on your own financial journey with the amazing Bank of Dad?

Read my experiences, then start your own -- and remember, YOU are in charge! If the rules I've created aren't going to fit your family's dynamics, please feel empowered to tweak! (Yes, that was TWEAK, not Twerk!)

BANK of DAD

Each child over a certain age has an account. A five-subject notebook where all transactions are recorded quite simply, with a column for the date, a column for the transaction, a column for the the specific amount, and a column with the running total. Mom and Dad can have accounts too, but in our family, it's a kid thing. Plus, there isn't a notebook sold with enough subjects for all of us!

The child *earns* deposits into the account... NO hand-outs! My brother Richard calls it "commission" rather than allowance (he might have gotten that from Dave Ramsey -- he's a big fan!) We keep track of four ways the children can earn money each day (remember the CLAP system?!). After five days, they have up to 20 points (they get weekends off). Based on their age, each point is worth a certain amount and they get paid for the amount of work that they actually accomplished! Our "formula" is three cents per year of age per point.

The child is encouraged to give part of their deposit to a charity (we call it tithing and give it to our church), as well as another portion which they give to their older selves (aka savings). We follow the 10-20-70 % rule -- they give ten percent as tithing, twenty percent as savings, and then have 70% to spend or save as they see fit.

When the child wants to buy something, he or she has to see if they have enough money in their Bank of Dad account. THIS IS SO NICE as the Mom... I don't have to decide whether or not to buy things for them! If they have enough money, they decide (and sometimes they decide NO). If they don't have enough money, then that lack of money is the deciding factor. Mom is no longer the bad guy who says no all the time! In fact, I can show love and sympathy when they don't have enough money! Heck, I've been there before.

Simple enough, right?

Well, there are ways to make it more complex... if that's what you're looking for. Like, you can pay interest on their long-term savings. Or, you can put them in charge of buying a whole lot more stuff than just the petty bubblegum at the grocery store types of things. Or you can offer to make extra deposits into their long-term savings for when they reach a certain goal (like Eagle Scout or straight "A"s). Remember that book I reviewed, The Entitlement Trap -- it has several great ideas for this Family Economy.

Generally speaking, though, it really is a simple system. I love it! I love my kids. I love their Dad... and not just because he makes a good Bank!

Lime Smoothie

I never knew I liked lime before being introduced to Raw Melissa's yummy Lime Mousse. Upon tasting this delectable dessert, I discovered that I am actually a bit of a lime addict. If my name were Richard, I'd have to go by Lime Ricky.

I love Lime Mousse so much, I decided to create a version of it that is just as tasty, drinkable, AND breakfast-worthy!

Yummarific!

I think I'll call it: Lime Regan.

Here goes!

NOTE: This is written up in the Clueless-Mama-Smoothie-style of non-specific measurements... first, I give my apologies to those of you who aren't comfortable cooking this way; second, to those same people, I give a dose of empowerment to experiment and love your creations!

Stuff a big handful of spinach into the bottom of the blender.

Add several chunks of frozen bananas (1-2 bananas-worth). (Buy those brown-spotty bananas on sale; peel and chunk them into freezer-zipper bags and they'll wait patiently in your freezer for these opportunities to grace your smoothies with their goodness!) If you don't happen to have any frozen ones, a fresh one will do, but your final product won't be very cold. Meh.

After removing the peel and the pit, put an avocado in. (Yes, an avocado!)

If you have 3-5 fresh limes, squeeze as much juice as you can out of them, allowing as much pulp as you like to fall in as well.

No fresh limes? Use about 1/2 a cup of ReaLime Juice (more or less, to taste -- I like mine tangy!)

2-3 Tablespoons of Honey

1/3-1/2 cup of almond milk (or other milk)

a 1/4 teaspoon of salt helps the lime flavor come out!

Finally, if you are looking for ways to sneak Flaxseed Oil into your diet, this is a perfect time to throw in a dollop. If you don't have it, don't stress -- the avocado provides a lovely texture without additional oil. (Did you know that oil serves that purpose??? Yup, oil is an emulsifier and makes things like Frosty's thick and smooth)

And there you go!  Blend it up and enjoy! Miriam did!

Green Eggnog

I. Love. Egg. Nog.

An illustration from when I was much younger:

A certain young man was trying to capture my heart. He knew of my love for eggnog and wanted me to re-aim that love towards him. He knew how I cried at the end of the holiday season -- only because that meant there would be no eggnog for another year.

He came over one day in June, bearing eggnog. In all my selfishness, I drank it down in front of him, making yumminess noises the whole time -- then I reiterated to him that we were still just friends.

We were both heartbroken -- me, because I was losing my off-season source of eggnog.

Anyways! Slight change of subject:

I am choosing to greatly decrease my intake of animal products. My name, Regan, is just one letter short of Vegan. That one letter, and the fact that it's pronounced differently, allows me to sneak a slice of cheese pizza every now and then. And drink eggnog when the stores make it available to me.

However, I have now created my own Vegan Eggnog recipe, so I am one step closer to being a purist... but don't worry, cheese pizza has a very strong hold on my appetite, so I won't go extreme too soon.

I actually like my Green Eggnog better than the old-fashioned stuff! It's not just egg-free, it's guilt-free, because the ingredients are so healthy. And my recipe is available all year round, although the Green-ness is a nice Holiday touch.

I know you are anxious to whip up your own, so carefully follow the instructions below. You know how important it is from my previous smoothie recipes to be exact!

Stuff spinach into the bottom of a blender. Pour in some almond milk. Add a few chunks of frozen banana. Dollop in some vanilla flavoring and little honey -- not too much, though. In fact, I've left out the honey sometimes and am still happy with the final product. Be generous when sprinkling in the nutmeg -- it takes more than you think to make it taste authentic! Use a little oil -- like Udos -- to make it emulsify nicely. Blend! Drink! Break some eggnog-maker's heart!!!

All I Want For Christmas!

I am afraid this post will sound bah-hum-bug-ish, so I ask for your mercy in advance... 

Now that Halloween is over, it is officially the Holiday Season. My husband has permission to play Christmas music now, and as soon as he gets a whim, he'll put up the decorations! 

I love being married to him, for so many reasons... and this child-like fascination with the festivities of winter is definitely among them! It's a sweet blessing to watch his whole-hearted devotion to all-things-Christmas!

Unfortunately, I don't bless him back with the same attitude. I suppose it's the dregs of a childhood in the home of a single mom where anything money-related was too stressful to enjoy.

Now that I'm the mom, and soooo thankful not to be single, you'd think I could leave all that in the past and focus on the fun, the magic, the Reason for the Season.

I try! I hope I get at least an E for Effort! But, alas, I am yet lacking. 

Part of the problem, I confess, is that we end up with too much stuff -- and I really don't like clutter... Especially paying money to get more clutter! 

It's my own fault! I want to make our children's dreams come true! So I buy them the plastic toys and anxiously await that the momentary glitter in their eyes when they tear open the wrapping paper!  Then they give Santa all the credit... I'm not bitter, though!

Ahem, okay, so it is becoming clear to me that I am using my blog as a form of therapy... I hope you don't need therapy after reading this!!

So, my point is that this year I am choosing to give memories rather than stuff! I am writing this post from a mansion on Bear Lake, where my daughters and I are attending a retreat!

It was slightly more expensive than what we normally budget for Christmas gifts, but at least I won't ever have to pick it up off the floor or give it to goodwill or throw it away because it got broken!

Oh, and Santa won't get the credit for this, either!!

Tweaking (not twerking)

Lately, I've been Tweaking. Not Twerking, Tweaking.

I haven't bothered to find out what Twerking really is...

I've gathered from the random facebook comments that it's, well, uncomfortable -- at least for those observing it, and quite possibly for the Twerker herself.

I suppose that this may be all that Twerking has in common with Tweaking.

I'm a proponent of Tweaking, even if it causes a little discomfort. Knowing that Tweaking is possible helps me carry on in the face of what seems impossible:

Setting up a system.

Every family needs systems!

We need systems that help our household run smoothly;

• systems that preserve our sanity; 
• systems that prevent arguments over ambiguity;
• systems that provide structure so that in the midst of the storms of life, we're still afloat!

However, because setting up the system can seem so daunting, it often doesn't happen... and we simply survive rather than thrive.

I think one of the obstacles to setting up a system is worrying that it won't take... that the rest of the family team won't follow the system. That's where tweaking comes in handy.

A successful system needs tweaking! Once the initial scaffolding has been erected, it is helpful to step back and observe and acknowledge weaknesses, and then TWEAK!

This can help the family agree to the initial structure attempt, if they know you're willing to tweak.

Not twerk, tweak.

Once a structure has been in place a long time, tweaking might be a little uncomfortable -- but when it's necessary, do it anyway!

Just Kidding!

Little Miriam's personality is really coming out. And I'm lovin' it!

Today, she repeatedly did the following:

"Waaa-waaaa" (real, true, crying-sobbing tantrum)

Then, suddenly:

Bright eyes, sweet smile, and she joyfully says: "Just Kidding!"

It made me laugh with delight! Woo-hoo!

She found her switch! And she's using it. I am determined to follow her example next time I'm wailing and whining and complaining... which is more often than I care to admit.

(She just performed this again WHILE I was typing this! I probably shouldn't test her limits...)

Post Script: Another awesome characteristic that is coming out in this sweet girl is peacemaking. The other day, I told her she was funny. She said, "No, you're funny!"

I countered with "No, you're  funny!" And she followed it up with, "No, you're funny!"

I chose to continue the argument, and told her once again, "No, you're funny."

And this wise child put both hands on my cheeks and said, "Mom, how 'bout we BOTH be funny!"

Okay, Miriam.

What's a Tantrum to God?

My four year old is, well, let's say, precocious.

He comes up with some big plans sometimes, and sometimes I let him carry them out.

Sometimes, though, I can't.

The other day, early in the morning, Reed came to me with some of his big plans:

"Mom, Mom, Mom -- I just decided to have a picnic! Yeah! This will be awesome!"

"Oh, a picnic lunch! That does sound fun."

"No, Mom, not a picnic lunch... a picnic RIGHT NOW! Call Naomi and Abbie and Ellie and....."

"Reed, it's not even 8am. We can't call your friends because they are probably still asleep. Plus, we have to get ready for Joyschool!"

I further emphasize Joyschool in an attempt to distract him away from the fact that I'm raining on his parade, er, his picnic. It is an epic fail.

"Mom, I don't wanna go to Joyschool. I wanna have a PICNIC. In the FRONT yard. Right NOW."

I feel like he has added the detail about location to see just how far he can push. We don't play in the front yard without an adult... Stay calm, Mama...

"Reed, if you want a picnic right now, you may go eat your breakfast in the backyard. Hurry, so we can get it cleaned up and get your Great Eight done in time for Joyschool!"

His response to this: sobbing, screaming, throwing things, TANTRUM. I no longer want to use the word "precocious" to describe him... I want a stronger, less complimentary word. But I will choose to just weather the storm, and love him into calming down.

I think God must feel the same way with us sometimes! We come to him with our big plans. And because he can see the whole picture, he just might shoot us down. Ouch! And we just might yell back at Him that we WANT IT RIGHT NOW, just the way we are visualizing it.

He might be trying all the same tactics, explanations, diversions, gentle reminders of rules...

And we sob, scream, throw things...

And finally, we calm down as we sense that his foresight and his firmness are love, and we choose to trust that he knows best, rather than keep ramming ourselves up against him.

Thank goodness for his patience, his compassion, his example. May I seek his help as I attempt to give my children a similar love -- a love that allows for tantrums, and then welcomes back the whiner when he's ready to re-focus.

Cherishing the Doing

Cherish the doing a little more, 

and the getting it done a little less! 

~ Anna Quindlen

I love this quote.

Too often, I'm trying so hard to get a bunch of stuff crossed off the to-do list, thinking that once those check-marks are there, I'll be able to do the fun stuff.

Really, though, the list just keeps growing... and that can be a suffocating feeling.

I joke about that with my kiddos, because the laundry is never really done -- unless we take a day to run around naked! Come to think of it, that does sound fun!

So there's one way to make the doing a little more fun... rather than waiting until the "done" to celebrate.

Okay, so nudity might be slightly inappropriate -- but ya gotta admit, there's nothin' like a dancin' two-year-old's flubby blubber! On the other hand, I don't really want anyone to see my flubby  blubber.

But I can still dance!

That might be one way to cherish the doing a little more -- making the doing a little more fun. Turn up the music!

Let myself eat a little chocolate during the doing, not just as a reward afterwards! (Maybe I'll burn the calories off before they have a chance to settle...)

Take time to teach the little ones how to do the doing... they want to know, really they do! And that counts as quality time, during the doing!

What else can I do to cherish the doing a little more???

Trick or Treat

I have to share about my adorable four-year-old...

To start tonight's Halloween festivities, we headed over to the church for Trunk-or-Treat. He enjoyed gathering goodies but we got pretty cold and headed home before it was over.

At home, we had people knocking on our door, and this is when things got really fun for Reed!

This precious boy got so excited as the ghouls and goblins called out "Trick-or-Treat" that he opened the door and let them have candy out of his own loot bag!

I showed him our stash of stuff to give away, but each time he heard a knock, he opted to give from his own until it dwindled away to nothing.

The joy on his face was the kind that only comes from selfless giving. His glow lit up the Halloween night! 

It may have only been matched by my glow as a proud mom watching this innate sense of happiness derived from making others happy!

Baby, baby

My baby isn't so much of a baby anymore.

She walks, talks, uses the potty... however, she still sleeps in my bed AND she still nurses, so, for the time being, she still fits in the baby category!

Every once in a while, I consider starting a real-true-weaning program rather than just casual suggestions to her that someday she'll be too big to grood (that's a code word, since my kids nurse all the way up through being able to verbally ask for it -- hopefully, people who hear them yell for grood simply figure the childspeak is lost on them).

This post was going to be about how each of my babies has gone through the weaning, and it keeps happening in other ways.

But instead, I want it to be about how my baby is a KANGAROO now!

That's right -- she was given a beautiful Cinderella dress for her birthday, but when it came time to choose a costume, she picked the ol' Kangaroo one... and she won't take it off!

She has worn it day and night for two days already!

Something funny: someone asked her if she was a kangaroo and she gave them a puzzled look and said, "No, I'm Cinderella!"

Here she is: a Kangaroo for All Occasions:

Sleeping Peacefully (nevermind that tail)

Eating normal kangaroo fare: noodles

Storing Halloween Loot in her Kangaroo Pouch!

The Bad Boy in Esther's class

I used to homeschool my children -- all of them. Nowadays, I have one official homeschooler and two little ones who are learning every moment they are at home (and anywhere else, for that matter).

I have LOADS of reasons to homeschool! When I was a college student and I was introduced to the concept of homeschooling, the first thing that came to mind was: "Oooohh! I wish I could have been homeschooled!"

It sounded so great -- to be able to use my time according to my own interests and not have to play the "game" of figuring out what the teacher wanted and trying to meet those requirements rather than trying to get educated.

And, surprise, surprise, I struggled in the social area.

For the first six miserable years of my public schooling, I was the nerd. After that, I somehow broke out of my shell and learned to smile and enjoy some of what public school had to offer in the area of social life... I even got voted onto the homecoming court my senior year.

So, I can't say the social reasons are my biggest reasons to choose homeschooling, but they are definitely counted among them.

When my oldest child, who has an October birthday -- which translates into being the oldest in the class, was already reading before he even started kindergarten, I thought, "Hey! I'll give him the gift I never had: the gift of not having to deal with all the drama at school."

No homework (although some could argue that all of homeschool is homework); no tests; no grading; no kids to bully you...

Well, for a variety of reasons, which I won't list here, that oldest son (plus my twin daughters) are now in public school. Maybe they'll decide to homeschool again... maybe not. At this point, I'm leaving it up to them.

Every once in a while, they'll describe some situation going on at school, and I try really hard to figure out how to interject into the conversation something along the lines of: "Hmmmm, I wonder if we ever had a similar situation when we homeschooled. Hmmmm..."

One of the recent issues Esther has discussed with me is the bad boy in her class. The teacher has been losing her patience with him lately, particularly about how he doesn't ever do his homework. She threatened that he would have to miss recess if he doesn't start bringing back worksheets.

Of course, I'm not there having to deal with him day in and day out. I think that is the main reason I was able to have the imaginary response as follows:

Compassion towards the boy, who must be the victim of apathetic parents.

Sincere concern about his future and deep ponderings about how to help him move past the obstacle of an undesirable home life.

Calm replies to his claims of having not done the homework, and encouragement and motivation to put in the extra effort, even if it means missing recess.

It's so easy for me to conjure up such happy images, because I am not an underpaid, overworked teacher having to handle not just the bad boy, but twenty-eight other children as well, five days a week.

I sometimes wish I could homeschool that bad boy! Give him the gift that I always wanted, and that I hope three of my children will soon figure out they want as well.

Drop the Okay!

I have a favorite phrase that my two-year old uses in moments of distress, when she has decided to submit to the situation (like changing into pajammies):

"Okay, Mommy."

It is soooo precious, partly because she is usually still wailing loudly in what used to be frustration and disagreement. At some point during the trantrum, though, she changes her mind and chooses to go along with the "torture" (brushing her teeth, for instance).

Without changing her tone, she verbalizes her resolve to accept whatever punishment is being thrown her way (like reading a book before watching a movie) and she sobs it out, usually several times in a row:

"Okay, Mommy. Okay. {tearful deep sucking in of breath} Okay, Mo-o-ommy."

I can't help but give her a big hug and assure her that, indeed, it is Okay. I love that she has caved in because I don't handle stubbornness too well... but there's something else about the whole "Okay"-ness... It's given me a lot to think about.

I hear myself saying "Okay" often.... which may be where she learned it. I'm glad I've set a good example in that sense.

However, I'm not sure I always use it in the right context.

"We're going to get your pajammies on now, okay?"
"Let's go brush your teeth, okay?"
"You need to read a book BEFORE watching a movie, okay?"

What does my "Okay" mean, afterall?

Is there really a choice in the matter? Am I asking for cooperation? What if Miriam were more inclined to say, "No, Mom, that's NOT Okay," (as other children that I won't name), would I rescind the request? Change my plans to fit her lack of willingness to obey?

I've determined that I need to pay attention, close attention, to my "Okays" -- and use them more sparingly.

If my "Okay" means "Do you understand?" then I will replace it with, "Do you understand?" or simply cut my sentence off before I get to the Okay.

It's not an easy change, dropping the Okay. I've been working on it for awhile now, but as Miriam's sweet words of acceptance show me, I probably still do it a little too much!

Note to self: "Stop saying Okay all the time, Okay?!"

Children as Ministers

Today, Church was a little different.

The children, ages 3-11, gave the majority of the presentation.

So, okay then, it was a LOT different!

Our church generally has a variety of speakers. Our lay clergy doesn't have to sermonize much -- they simply ask two or three other adults to prepare 15-20 minutes worth of wisdom on a given topic, and over the course of a few years we get to hear from a high percentage of the congregation.

Once a year, we get to hear from the little ones.

The ones so fresh from heaven... When they sing "I am a Child of God," it's possible that their pre-mortal memories are still vaguely visible to their faithful spiritual eyes.

My two-year old really loves this song. In fact, if I am singing any other song, she says, "Mom, I don't like that song. I like I am a Child of God!" and she'll break out in her own special harmony.

She saw the other kiddos singing up there today and said, "I want to be up there and sing."

She would have fit right in, with her halo of golden hair.

Those children were amazing! They were led by amazing women, who gave their talents and leadership to inspire these children to stun the ward with their awesomeness.

Even more amazingly, it didn't stop there. We all felt the awe as the children's voices led us closer to our Savior... dare I say, closer than sermons written by adults will do.

Thank you, God, for giving me precious relationships with these, thy children. And thank YOU, my sweet children, for giving me a stronger relationship with our God. 

Chocolate

What is it about chocolate?!?

Why does it hold me in its evil grasp??

I am suffering today because I had chocolate for breakfast.

I know, I know, that's my own darn fault. I can control what I put in my mouth!! (Or can I?)

That seems to be the problem with chocolate. I just don't seem to have any self-control when it comes to this particular bean.

Well, in all honesty, I'm an all-or-nothin' kinda gal. If I've sworn it off, I can succeed in not eating it. But if I've decided to allow myself an indulgence, it takes over my whole life. And I end up eating it for breakfast. ARGH!

Oh, I quickly followed it up with somethin' healthy, but it's done its damage... and made me want more.

Instead of giving in to the calls from the cupboard, I'm blogging about it! Gotta find me some support. I know you're out there, fellow choco-holic mamas.

How do you successfully control your cravings? Or do you?!?

Should I just give in?

My cute little niece, Lucy, would say yes.

She's a twin. Her twin brother, Benjamin, and she were celebrating their fifth birthday at my house. When the ice cream was all gone and the only thing left in the bowl was the hot fudge sauce, I asked if I should clean it up or if she wanted to just eat up the chocolate-ness.

Lucy exclaimed:

"Yummmm... chocolate-ness! Welcome to my world, Benjamin!"

You Won't Find Ada on Facebook

I want to give a public shout out to one of my son's friends, Ada.

She's a cute girl, eighth-grade, pretty smile. But you won't find that smile on facebook -- anymore, anyways.

I noticed her final post as I was scanning my son's wall. "I'm deleting my facebook account. Call me."

Seems like a monumental decision in a young teen's life...

So when she came by after school today, I decided to bring it up, in that cool and casual way I try to have while talking with my son's friends...

"Ada, I have to ask, how did you decide to leave the world of facebook?"

Luckily, as she was sucking on her otter pop, she felt comfortable enough to answer: "A few reasons... first, there's just too much drama on facebook. People can't tell when you're being sarcastic or whatever.

"Also, my dad was telling me about how facebook is changing its privacy policy at the end of this month, and I just don't wanna have all my photos and whatever available to the public.

"I used to sort of need facebook for my friends to be able to get hold of me, but now they all have phones and we can just text.

"So, this decision for less drama and more privacy, is basically about following my inner hippie." (She does, in fact, wear dreadlocks).

Wow!

I have to say: Yay for you, Ada! Yay for your "inner hippie" and the peace it is leading you towards! Makes me wanna go back to the post and click that ubiquitous "Like" button!

I'm not at the point where I feel the necessity to delete my facebook account. But her example has gotten me a step closer to being willing to take that seemingly drastic action.

Weird, isn't it, that, before the entity of facebook is even ten years old, leaving facebook would seem so crazy?!? It's really infiltrated our lifestyles. Weird, indeed. Luckily, Ada's not worried about being weird.

Yay for Ada!

Wise Words of Other Mothers

I'm hurrying and writing this blog post before I head off to my book club!

I. LOVE. MY. BOOK. CLUB.

Well, more accurately, I love the women who attend the club.

I do, in fact, love to read books and discuss them -- it's a great challenge for my brain to

1) manage my time effectively to the point where I can fit in reading a book a month
2) pay close enough attention to what I am reading to get something out of it that's worthy to share

However, when it comes right down to it, I would get together with these women even if it were a knitting club.

Admittedly, knitting would also be a challenge for my brain.

My overall point of this post, though, is how grateful I am for these women. They are busy moms, too. Most of them homeschool their children. Yet they take time out to bless my life by sharing their thoughts, their wisdom, their talents.

Ya see, it's a multi-faceted book club, in that we spend the first hour or so doing things other than discussing the book. We sing together! We eat -- it's ALWAYS a potluck. We share each others good news -- as well as our burdens. And THEN we discuss the book -- solid discussions, with lots of insights and applications to our lives.

It's like an intellectual challenge wrapped up in a hug!

I cherish my time with these women, wise women, whose wise words come home with me and help me in my attempts to become wise.

I'll take time to type it again, even though I must jump up and run out the door:

I. LOVE. MY. BOOK. CLUB!!!

Another Book Report

I have a criminal past.

I stood before a judge about 9 1/2 years ago, when I was young and dumb. I'm embarrassed to tell you why, because it was definitely a Clueless Mama thing to do. Promise you'll still love me?!?! I promise that I'm not a repeat offender...

Here it is:

I left my toddler asleep in the car while I ran in an office supply store and made copies out of a book I was borrowing.

The book was entitled "The Complete Tightwad Gazette" -- and I thought I was following its principles by making copies instead of buying my own.

Well, I should have been arrested for MORE than child abandonment -- I should have also served time for copyright infringement!

For the record, I didn't actually serve time. I paid a fine and then, for personal penance, I bought the book.

It's so worth every penny to own! 

The author, Amy Dacyczyn has lived such a thrifty life, and has such a wealth of information to share! And she has fun sharing it -- her writing is witty and inviting.

Sometimes the subject of saving (not spending) can come across as depressing, and requiring rigorous self-discipline.

In Amy's book, which is actually a compilation of six years of newsletters, economizing is an adventure, pursuing creative, ingenious ways to combat how expensive life is. We feel like celebrating every time she helps us figure out how to pinch those pennies.

She is also primarily a mom! So it definitely feels like everything applies to my current profession. There are birthday party ideas! There are insights on how to grocery shop effectively and go garage sale-ing. She covers fixing up the house, from decor to repairs.

There are recipes, and even instructions on how to make up your own recipes! There are even ideas on how to diet for cheap.

Traveling often seems out of the question for those of us on a strict budget, but she even addresses this topic in a way that makes the world wide open!

She even teaches us how to save time, since, after all, time is money.

AND it made me decide to follow ALL the laws, even copyright ones, and buy this book!

BOOK REPORT

I keep books on my bedside table. I suppose that's not unusual.

What IS unusual is that they are far LESS likely to get read if they are there... because I tend to fall asleep before I get around to reading them.

If I really, really, really, really want/need to read a book (like for the awesome book club I belong to), I have to carry it around with me all day long.

Well, one book that has sat on my bedside table for months, maybe even years, is called The Entitlement Trap, by Richard and Linda Eyre. I have finally gotten around to reading it! Not because I carried it around the house, but because my baby, whom I still nurse to sleep in my bed, has started to ask -- or rather demand -- that the light stay on.

As much as I love to sleep, now that I have read this book, I kick myself that I let sleep take priority over this PHENOMENAL book -- I should have read it AGES ago and solved all of my parenting problems!

The Eyres have been writing parenting books for decades. They have nine children of their own, all of whom have at least a bachelor's degree and have served missions for our church. I have read several of their books and have had the pleasure of meeting the authors more than once. In fact, that very book that lay ignored on my bedside table is signed by them!

Anywho, their credentials are significant, and I probably could have endorsed this, their 46th book, even before I read it. However, I am so glad that I read it. It is simply incredible in its value! It is a succinct summary of their best and most important parenting practices, all compiled in this book for the purpose of helping our children recognize entitlement for the trap that it is rather than being tricked into believing it solves problems.

The authors are so experienced in many ways -- not just with the raising of their nine, but also with the writing of their many books, that this one is like the culmination of all of that invaluable experience, ready for me to put the plans into action.

That's the hard part. Unfortunately, metaphorically speaking, sometimes the ideas and ideals I learn through reading stay on the bedside table of my brain while I opt to sleep instead of making the effort to behave differently based on the book.

Well, this book report is my first step in choosing to act! One of the major themes of the book is goal-setting, and teaching our children to do it by doing it ourselves. So I am putting in writing the goal to write a blog post daily! Hooray! I did it today!! I pledge to do it again tomorrow!

The Timer: our friend and our enemy

I confess, I'm a bit of a wuss. I just don't like to be the bad guy. I avoid confrontation like I avoid eating from the garbage.

This is often a good thing. It helps me to put things in perspective and only confront someone or some situation when I know it is necessary, so a lot of nit-picky, dumb things are allowed to roll off my back and not cause trouble.

Usually, because of my fear-based procrastination, I wait -- and wait -- and wait -- until a good time. With that waiting, a lot of the heat-of-the-moment emotion that can cause confrontations to go sour is removed... Plus, I've had a chance to roll the words around in my head and work to come across in the way that I want to: sincere, caring, seeking to solve the problem and not just get on someone's case.

Well, as a mom, there's not always time for all that avoidance! Sometimes, ya just gotta take charge! Be decisive! Make things right! Judge, jury, and executioner, all in less than 30 seconds -- like when the sweet little wee ones won't share with each other, or sweet older not-so-wee ones won't get their chores done...

However, because it is in my nature to avoid such situations, I have managed to come up with a way to handle them without becoming the bad guy:

Introducing a fascinating little invention called: the TIMER.

Not just for avoiding burning dinner! Now also, for avoiding taking the heat from frustrated toddlers and teens.

We use a timer to help us know how long one kiddo gets to play with the toy. Oh, what's that noise? The timer is beeping? That means it is now time for the other kiddo to get to play with the toy. Can't argue with the inanimate object of the timer!

We have a timer in the bathroom to help the kiddos know their shower time is up! No more yelling about saving hot water for the next bather.

May the timer bless your life as it has blessed mine!!!

Too busy singing

My awesome husband is awesome for lots of reasons... Besides being intelligent, handsome, kind, and hard-working, he's musical!

Now, he'll be the first to tell you that he won't be making CD's of his musical talents to sell to his fans... but that's part of what makes his musical talents so endearing! They may not be professional-level offerings, but he offers them anyway -- and blesses the world, or his little corner of it, in ways that only he can.

I think there's a lesson in that for those of us who worry that we have to shine like the top of the Chrysler-building before we can share our light... but, alas, that is not the lesson I was going to give for this post, so let me stop digressing and get back to the original purpose!

Recently, my music-man was asked to play the piano at church for when the men meet together. He agreed, under the condition that he would get to practice far in advance! So the person making the arrangements convinced another fellow to play every other week, giving my husband, Ted, two weeks to practice the assigned hymn.

As a family, we are encouraging his success by singing the hymn during our daily devotionals so he can squeeze his practicing in.

At one point during today's practice, Ted stopped playing between verses so he could apologize for the mistakes he had made. A couple of the kids responded that they hadn't noticed the missed notes, because they were too busy singing.

So there's the lesson I intended to get across originally!! If we are each too busy singing our own parts, we won't have the wherewithal to pay undue attention to the mistakes of our accompanists.

Now, it is an important part of the metaphor to note that our accompanists are supposed to lead us: our leaders aren't always perfect and need us to just keep singing even when they've messed up!!!

I sure appreciate my husband's willingness to lead our family -- in many ways beyond just our daily hymns -- even though he knows he's not perfect. And I pledge to keep singing and not take time to notice his mistakes, and trust that he's not too worried about when I get off-tune!

In spite of these errors, and maybe because of how we deal with them, we'll be making beautiful music together!

Thirteen years ago...

Thirteen years ago, at this exact moment, I was thoroughly exhausted.

I had been awake more than 39 hours straight. I had been pushing for 3 hours. Luckily, I hadn't been in labor ALL those 39 hours!

It was a matter of timing... just as I thought about going to bed on the 18th of October, 2000, I realized that my contractions were getting longer, stronger, and closer together!

Woo-hoo! I wasn't about to go to sleep and miss all the excitement of giving birth to my first baby!

So I stayed awake... not foreseeing that my body would take its sweet time opening ("like a flower" -- that was my mantra) and letting my beautiful boy be born.

He was the first. He had to pave the way. It took a lot of work... but he did it! Every labor since then has been blissfully fast, and I have him to thank for it!

My TJ. My Ted, Junior. I really wanted to name him after his dad -- my phenomenally wonderful husband. I felt like it was giving a gift to the world to allow another Ted Franklin Barnes to exist in it!

How blessed I have been to have this boy in my life.

He is so strong -- perfect for handling the mistakes of his first-time parents. His younger brothers and sisters have him to thank for all the bruises he's taken so they wouldn't have to.

He has a gorgeous smile! How I relish in his grin! I love when he laughs!

He has a big heart. Always ready to love me, love his dad, love his siblings.

His eyes -- he's always getting compliments on his eyes. Eyes are the windows to the soul, you know... just like a window, though, it can only give a glimpse of his soul's greatness. He is amazing!

I adore him more now than I did that first night, after he finally arrived, as I sat there holding him in my arms. He's a little harder to hold in my arms now, considering he's bigger than me (well, I still weigh more, but that's not comforting to me).

I'm glad he'll still snuggle and still give me hugs -- even, sometimes, in front of his friends. He's not too big to be my baby!

I can't believe how quickly these thirteen years have gone. Faster than those 23+ hours of labor! And I can only guess that the next thirteen will go just as fast. What a thrill! I hope he's enjoying the ups and downs as much as I am.

I'm so blessed to be along for the ride of his life!

More Green Yumminess

I shared a post a little while ago about Going Green -- in the sense of eating more Green stuff...

This is quite a transition for me. I think it's quite possible that one of the reasons I suffer from the conditions that I do is because I didn't eat fresh fruit or veggies AT ALL as a youngster -- as in, before age 30.

I had one of those bodies that was so resilient, I could get away with eating anything and everything and not put on much weight or get too bad of acne or whatever else it was that people complained about if they ate the wrong foods.

Now, I didn't get a different body at age 30 -- but I definitely started noticing some negative issues going on... and a little something in my head started buggin' me, sayin' that maybe all those years of not giving myself high quality nutrition was coming back to haunt me.

So, I have embarked upon a Green Adventure!

Well, okay, Green is simply ONE of the possible markers to help me know what I need to be eating to treat my body better. Other key words might include: Fresh! Able-to-rot! Plant-based! Natural! Whole! Unprocessed!

It's a process, of course. Like all of life. I set myself on the path, and when I stray, I try to make sure I can at least see the path so I can mozy back over when I have the will. 

Here is something I had fun making AND eating! A pasta salad, with salsa as the sauce instead of mayo. Beans!! Yes, the magical fruit! And corn. And cilantro. And the black olives and grape tomatoes kind of smiling together with the avocado slices on top:

I think it turned out pretty as well as tasty. And that is helping me love eating healthier!

Rose, Bud, Thorn

As a child, my home was run by a splendid woman who, though married when we were all born, was single for most of the time she was raising us. This situation framed much of how I viewed the world and when I grew up and got married (and thus far, I have remained married! Woo-hoo!) I had to adjust to a different set of circumstances that come when two adults are around...

Well, dinner-time is one of those circumstances that is, well, hmmmm.... how can I say this....

HUGEMONGOUSLY 

                                                                                                   different!

My mom was busy working two jobs to put food on the table (as the saying goes) but one of the side effects of this was that she wasn't around to actually put the food on the table.

The kitchen of my childhood was a fend-for-yourself place, so we ate what we were capable of conjuring up for ourselves, and time-wise it was more based on when we were hungry rather than during a pre-determined dinner hour. Most of my eating-based memories as a youth are rather calm, maybe even lonely, as I only ate if/when I felt like it and that didn't always cross paths with other inhabitants of the home.

Well, NOT ANYMORE!!!

Nowadays, mealtime is well-attended, shall we say! I can confidently use the absolute "NEVER" to describe the how often I eat alone. Our dinnertime systems have to be somewhat flexible to account for friends, neighbors, and strays who smell something yummy and want to join the party.

Overall, I am a people-person so I don't mind this change in circumstances -- in fact, I kinda like it... although, I confess, it can get a little -- okay... a LOT -- noisy.

One of our strategies to minimize dinnertime chaos is to have the Day-Child in charge of constructive conversation! (I haven't written about Day-Child duties and privileges yet?!?! Note to self for future blog post! Note to you: in short, the Day-Child is the one who gets to -- and has to -- do certain things that otherwise would get fought about if there were no such designation.)

A common thing the Day-Child has been opting for lately to run the dinnertime discussions is Rose, Bud, Thorn. This is when each person gets a chance to tell something wonderful that happened that day (the Rose), something they're looking forward to tomorrow (the Bud) and something they're struggling with (the Thorn).

My baby girl who just turned two has even caught on to this, and it was with such great joy today that she was jumping (a new skill) and was saying: "And my Rose is that I can JUMP! And my Bud is that I gonna JUMP tomorrow! And I don't have a Thorn cuz I can JUMP!"
Ahhh, the joys of jumping. I guess I should try it sometime!

Siri says: I don't understand Ha Ha Ha

I had an extra teenager living with me over the summer -- and it was a blessing!

Teenagers get a bad rap, but this teenager, Katrina, defied all those negative stereotypes. Rather than being grumpy and moody and non-talkative, she was bright and cheery and quite conversational -- and she loved to laugh!

Her sister, Jennifer, is one of my helpers. Katrina had just finished high school and was waiting to start college and so Jennifer invited her to live with us during the interim. It was fun!

Jennifer has a really fancy phone with a personal assistant all programmed in -- maybe you've heard of Siri?

Well, once, Jennifer was going to give Siri some instructions, but Katrina's laughter drowned out Jennifer's voice. This situation confused poor Siri, who robotically declared:

"I don't understand Ha, Ha, Ha."

Of course, this made all of us laugh even more!

It got me thinking, though (believe it or not, this brain of mine does think, approximately 4 percent of the time)...

When I'm having to crack the whip and get my kids to do their chores bless our home, I am just like Siri with absolutely no sense of humor.

This post is a reprimand to myself to lighten up and learn to understand Ha, Ha, Ha. Anybody got any suggestions for how to make this come naturally, rather than having to program myself?! I want to laugh -- I really do! I just also want the house to get blessed!! Without dawdling!! But with giggling and good moods...

So it will remind me of Katrina, the great teenager!

Going Home

What fun we had today at the Corn Maze!

Is this just a Utah thing, or do lots of states do this? I grew up in Indiana, which is supposedly known for its corn crops, but I don't remember anything like this...

Here's a link so you can see what it was we were doing -- isn't it awesome?! Talk about Creative Use of an Old Field... I'm impressed. Makes me look at the world in a whole new way... what kinds of wild events are just waiting for our ingenuity to look at life with new possibilities?

Anyways, that wasn't REALLY the deep thought I intended to share -- this was:

As we wandered around the maze -- which, by the way, we were very glad to be doing our wandering in the daytime -- we had fun, even though we were lost from the moment we entered.  Luckily the maze is big enough that we didn't get dizzy as we went in circles among the cornstalks.

Eventually, we decided to stop passing the same sign and just head back to the beginning and go home.

My sweet four year old grabbed his cousin's hand, and gave her this look of excitement, and exclaimed, "Yes! We're all done being lost! We get to GO HOME!!!"

That's my goal as a Mom, as a homemaker... Home will be the place my children will be thrilled to come to when they're all done being lost (even if being lost was fun for a while).

Homemaker. HOME - MAKER. It's not a fuddy-duddy in an apron from a '50s sitcom!!!  It's a beautiful thing to get to MAKE a HOME -- after all, there's no place like home. May my children always want to come home!

Mom-Kind of Beautiful

I didn't like country music as a kid. Too much twang! But as I grew up and realized that I didn't like the words to the rock and roll, I decided to switch from those electric guitars to the acoustic ones that accompanied the twang I had tried to avoid.

All wrapped up in that twang were words worth listening to!

Country songs are so clever! It's like the southern accent is a disguise to make you think a redneck is singin' but really it's like a rocket-scientist of relationships, revealing the mysteries of the universe of love.

If I were a country song-writer, I would try to make up some of them there clever lyrics about mommies who ain't so purty on the outside but all the love they got on the inside changes 'em to be beautiful after all... somethin' like this here li'l poem I done wrote:

Mom-kind of Beautiful!

She's got strands of gray, in her hair of auburn,
but she knows they grow out of love and concern.
The bags under her eyes make her look like a zombie,
but she knows it's cuz she's a day AND night mommy.
Her baby's daddy don't complain 'bout extra handles on her hips;
he squeezes 'em tight as he kisses her lips.
She's Mom-kind of beautiful!
She's Mom-kind of beautiful!
She smells a bit like vomit and poo,
That might not be very pleasant to you,
But to her happy family, it means that she's the one and only Mommy
And she's Mom-kind of beautiful!
Yes, she's Mom-kind of beautiful!
Her deflated chest shows she's given the best.
Her shoulders are stained from when no tissues remained.
She's Mom-kind of beautiful!
Oh, She's Mom-kind of beautiful!
Her hands, though so gentle, well, they ain't soft,
They've worked so hard, keepin' our home aloft.
Wrinkles line her forehead, frame her eyes and her smile,
They're evidence of
her incredible love,
And that's Mom-kind of beautiful!
Yes, she's Mom-kind of beautiful!
I know there are models whose faces and curves
Capture the cameras and fame of the world,
But this Mom's a model who's an example and serves
 A much better purpose in building up girls!
Cuz she teaches us all
'bout true beauty within
Beauty that comes from loving children.
Yes, She's Mom-kind of Beautiful!
I wanna be Mom-kind of Beautiful!

Whaddaya think? Anybody got a banjo?

Going green!

Although this post is entitled, "Going Green!" this is not a post about environmentalism...

I DO indeed care about our lovely earth!

The green I mean for today is pictured below:

I must say, this is far more appetizing to me than recycled plastic!

However, it is related to environmentalism in an analogy sort of way: I've figured out that my body's output can only be as good as the input. Makes sense, doesn't it? How can this marvelous machine make something great from only mediocre ingredients? And the same goes for our earth: it will only be as beautiful as the efforts we put into taking care of it.

This smoothie is very simple and very tasty. Just three ingredients and sixty seconds in the BlendTek and YUM!

Spinach

Frozen Banana 

Coconut milk from a can

Most recipe writers will include portions, or measurements if you will, which, as you can see, I have failed to do. I am not really a recipe writer, after all!

Just understand my purpose in choosing to go green (in terms of drinking smoothies)... I have never been a fan of salads, so this way I can drink my dark leafies along with some disguising flavors! So, when it comes to amounts, I base it on how much spinach I have on hand and how much I feel like I still need to include in today's diet, etc... Plus, somehow, it feels empowering to not have to follow exact proportions and still end up with a yummy treat that's good for me!

Generally speaking, it's a solid handful of spinach stuffed into the bottom of the blender; one and a half frozen bananas; about a third of a can of coconut milk (stir the contents of the whole can first).

Enjoy! BOTH the input AND the output!

The Excitement of Having vs. Getting

My son, Reed, is turning four soon. He has been telling me this for about 11 and a half months. Of course, the number four is not the real thrill for him... instead, it is the fact that with the "turning" comes a BIRTHDAY! Woo-hoo! Can you feel the excitement?!?! And, as you know, with a Birthday comes... PRESENTS!!!!

Last year, Reed turned three. This highly pleasurable event was what gave birth to the sense of delight that he now associates with the "turning..." He got so many gifts! He could hardly contain himself as he opened present after present. Ripping off the wrapping paper seemed to be the highlight, casting a shadow over whatever was hidden within. After relishing the sound of tearing gift wrap, he'd glance briefly at the toy, and then cast it aside as another present was handed to him.

He couldn't really keep track of it all, either. Within a matter of days, he had largely forgotten the newly acquired toys and settled back into his familiar -- and endearing -- imaginative habits of playing with whatever happened to be nearby, like his food if he was at the table, or a stick if he was outside.

In my consistent attempts to keep the clutter in our home under control, several of the ignored items have found their way to the local second-hand store, where, I'm sure, some treasure-seeker discovered their "like-new" quality and undoubtedly felt that they had scored quite a deal.

Remember the COLAS post? This seems to be a related philosophical deep thought -- that the excitement of GETTING something outshines the excitement of HAVING something to such an extent that we are no longer content once we HAVE -- we simply look forward to the adrenaline-rush of GETTING again.

I have been unfair in using sweet Reed as the example in this post... he's simply cuter than I am in his blatant, unabashed addiction to getting. I confess: I am just as guilty (if that's the right word) of this behavior! In recognizing it, though, I hope to start the process of reversing it.

I hereby pledge to choose to find just as much joy in what I already HAVE! 

I will strive to quit thinking I need the thrill of GETTING in order to feel joy!

I hereby relinquish the habit of filling my life with MORE clutter that I'll inevitably get bored with and eventually pass on to the next Getter.

It's a direly-needed attitude-change. It will take time. Might as well start now! Ready? Set? GO!

Parenting Books and the Scriptures

I love it when I get to gab... I'm naturally a talker (it runs in the family) -- and that's mostly only fun when there's someone listening to my bla-bla-blahs.

Today, my neighbor and friend, Regina, called asking about homeschooling. And she was a great listener -- I talked for 40 minutes!

One reason I like to talk is because I'm often surprised by how my tongue takes my thoughts and puts them into words.

I heard myself throw out the following:

"I have been reading parenting books since my oldest child was born. I feel like I didn't really grow and learn from them much, though, until I also made time to read the Scriptures. It's kinda like my 'innards' (excuse the redneck word) are a bunch of gears, and I've been wanting to figure out how to make myself run like a well-oiled machine. The parenting books were great info about which gear does what, and ideas of which screw might need tightening or which belt might need to be replaced. The Scriptures, though -- they have been the tools that help me actually accomplish the necessary changes. The parenting books provide instructions, and then the Scriptures provide the instruments to carry out the instructions."

I was simply narrating part of my life -- seeing the situation in my head and striving to verbalize how much the Scriptures have helped me feel like I'm not failing miserably as a mom.... In fact, quite the opposite -- any improvements I've been able to make in my mothering can be directly connected to the Scriptures and their power to change my "innards" -- the very core of my soul... because they lead me to my Savior! (Makes me think of this verse).

Somehow, my mouth was able to conjure up this explanation -- and I like it!

Thanks, Regina, for being willing to listen! I sure learned a lot! (I hope you did too and those forty minutes weren't wasted!)

Open the Windows!!!

Well, if you know me, you know I like analogies.

So the other day, when dinner burned and we opened the windows to let the smell out, I got excited to discover what a beautiful analogy lies within such a simple act.

Life gets smelly sometimes!

Odors come around for a variety of reasons -- and these reasons can fit into the metaphorical concepts.

Take for instance the already mentioned mistake at the stove. In this case, someone was trying to do a good thing in preparing nourishment for those they love in the home... but since that someone got distracted, the good thing all of a sudden didn't seem too appetizing, and the resulting smell had to be released. And consider that burnt stuff can't get unburnt...

How about the unpleasant odor that alerts Mom to change baby's bum-bum? Baby didn't do anything wrong. In fact, baby did just the right thing! It would be rather unhealthy for Baby to NOT produce the poop that brings the smell with it... but we go ahead and change the diaper!

When my wonderful husband wakes me in the morning with a kiss, I'm always a little embarrassed because I can sense my own morning breath. Blech! My husband assures me that he still loves me and wants to kiss me -- but I go ahead and brush my teeth anyway...

When we drove our car up the canyon, it's engine emitted an odor trying to tell us it was overheated. In this case, opening the windows wasn't enough -- we had to exit the vehicle altogether! Unfortunately, the smell indicated we were too late -- we had cracked the head gaskets and ended up replacing the entire engine. If only we had noticed the gauges and allowed them to warn us of the motor's distress!

Then there's that lovely stench when the vacuum cleaner is sucking up something that doesn't fit up the hose and you have to dismantle the whole machine to find the offending object.

Once, when I was pregnant and had the superhuman sense of smell that comes with such a condition, my mother-in-law asked me to help her sniff out a dead mouse in her bathroom! She could tell there was a rotting corpse somewhere, and I was able to help her pinpoint the exact location.

Whatever the reason for the aromas -- why they originated, what they were trying to tell us or motivate us to do -- it really is a relief that we have ways to resolve the stinkiness and get fresh air into our lives again. We all have to breathe, and we'd all rather breathe air that's at least neutral if not outright aromatic!

Sometimes it involves a little effort, like brushing teeth or unscrewing parts of the vacuum cleaner. Sometimes it takes some money, like the engine. Sometimes it takes asking for the help of your pregnant daughter-in-law.

Sometimes it's as simple as opening the windows!

'Twas the Night Before School Started...

We homeschooled for so many years... (nostalgic sigh)... and one of the joys we celebrated was not having to worry about all the school-starting-hooplah.  We would go to a park and have a "Not-back-to-school" party and picnic with all the other homeschool families.

This year, though, my oldest is preparing to boldy go where no child should ever have to go: Junior High.

I must say how impressed I am with him! He picked out his classes -- surely a nice bonus cross-over from homeschool life. He mapped out where they are. He compiled a backpack full of necessities. He asked me to iron his shirt. He shaved.

My daughters and I headed over to their school for Back-to-School Night. They are twins, but school policy mandates that they be in separate classes. They handle this requirement with greater grace than I do. Luckily, the teachers are in sync and most likely it will be smooth-sailing in terms of keeping track of all the homework.

I'm thrilled to still have one full-time homeschooler! My almost-eleven-year-old and I are planning lots of fun field trips... He's going to help me when I take my turn to teach the neighborhood Joy School. He'll get lots of time to read (his favorite thing to do and undoubtedly the reason he's so smart). And we'll enjoy Power Hour on a more one-on-one level (though we don't forget about the little kiddos). He's been patient while we get everyone else ready, and hasn't worried that I bought new clothes for the other kids but not him (yet)...

Maybe that's what we'll do tomorrow after we've whisked the others out the door with a smile! Head to the store and do some Not-back-to-school shopping!

I'm excited for all of my children. I don't miss first-days-of-school-drama from my own childhood, but I think it's different for them. And I think they'll knock their own socks off with their success!

Third Party

My wonderful oldest child, TJ, has graciously allowed me to purchase his "old" iPod Touch from him, as he is wanting to upgrade to some techno-toy that's far more expensive.

I see this as my opportunity to bridge the gap (that seems to only be getting wider with time) between myself and the world wide web.

Obviously, I'm somewhat familiar with the internet. I have a blog, for heaven's sake!

However, overall, I prefer in-person communication, like phone calls or hanging out -- something about the instantaneous interaction.

Funny, isn't it, that this young generation is all about instant gratification, but at least they can wait for their texts to get typed and read and typed back. Must be their saving grace.

Anywho.

I also like the feel of old-fashioned paper and pen versus modern digital what-not.  There's a material comfort of its probable permanence versus the ever-hovering possibility of all things digital disappearing into the nanosphere of nothingness, like a black-hole... AAAAaaaaahhhh...

So, anyways, again...

I am now an iPod owner, trying to get everything figured out on it. I think in the long run, once this top-heavy transition is made, it will be worth it and things really will be simpler.... We shall see!

Luckily, this iPod's former owner lives with me and is able to take the time to get me familiar with its ins-and-outs.

Unluckily, he's rather short-tempered when it comes to teaching and being taught... it's one of the curses of being so smart.

He's workin' on it -- and one of the things that helps is having a Third Party.

Everyone likes a party, right?

Especially one that makes life more pleasant and helps us all get along and have more fun together!

So, in the case of my son's frustrations with my techno-cluelessness, Daddy gets to be the hero and throw the party -- the Third Party.

TJ and I have agreed on a hand signal for when we're frustrated with each other and our seeming incapability to make one another understand. It's like the peace sign, but with a third finger raised, too -- asking for a Third Party.

Sometimes, we don't get around to making the signal, though, because Daddy notices before we do that things are getting heated and we need to chill out with a Third Party.

We calm down. We choose patience and peace. We love each other again... Yeah, Third Party is awesome!