High Fives as a Reward

This June marks twenty years since I graduated from high school (although I still look 17 -- send me $9.95 and I'll tell you my secret!) All those years ago, I didn't realize how much I didn't know... especially about motherhood.

As time passed and I went to college and dated lots of boys, I realized that there might come a time when I would decide to marry one of them and start procreating... so I signed up for a child psychology class! Surely this would smartify this Clueless Mama in one fell swoop and TA-DA - I would raise The World's Most Perfect Children.

As I tried to play the "Please Your Professor" game to get a good grade, I memorized all his fascinating facts and listened intently to his anecdotes (backed up by studies, of course). He was strongly opinionated, biased towards his own published research which claimed that Rewards-and-Punishments is the only effective form of discipline. Children are like Pavlov's dogs! (Maybe a reflection of how well I studied is how I've made a similar simile in previous posts!)

Interestingly, I learned a lot about a wide variety of disciplinary philosophies because of this professor's rantings and ravings trying to tear down the other psychologists' perspectives.

Well, now that I'm a mom, I would like, with all due respect, to declare this professor's viewpoints as DUMB. Okay, dumb is a strong word against a university professor, so maybe I should say they were over-simplified, incomplete, and lacking integrity.

In whatever experiments he did to prove his points, he didn't stick it out for the long haul. As a mom, I'm with my children for their entire lives, and the Rewards-and-Punishments System only lasts about five minutes before these intelligent beings I call kids start to figure it out and use and abuse it to their advantage.

That's not to say I never use rewards or punishments. I use them a lot! But they are only one of the many tricks up my sleeve! Mwah-ha-ha-haaaa....

Oh, excuse my outburst... that's not really an *evil* laugh, but rather a maternally mischievous laugh.



I just want to suggest that high-fives are about all the reward a child really ever needs. Oh, and otter-pops for going pee all by themselves. Tee hee!

© Nejron | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

Really, though, rather than keep a treasure chest of cheap little toys that children in China slaved over and that later become stifling clutter all over my house, I just offer that awesome kid with the good behavior a high-five. And he's happy, and I'm happy! It's also a better choice than offering candy to our over-sugared sweeties. And I'm not ashamed to mention another compelling fact: slippin' skin is free.

Slappin' palms speaks to a child inwardly as we connect outwardly. It's universally accepted as a positive, meaningful gesture that costs nothing but is highly valued, and not just by those under age five.

I think it's because of the joy they see on my face as I celebrate their victory, whatever it may be. That joy is infectious -- one of the few infections we moms want to spread.

Other similar rewards: a smile! a hug! a thumbs-up! a pat on the back! the "A-OK" sign! asking to capture the moment on the camera! offering to call Daddy (or Grama) and share the success! What about you, fellow mothers?