One day, my oldest child came to me, telling me he was tired of getting reprimanded. Now, he's a good kid with a great sense of humor. He has excellent work ethic and is very thorough when he Blesses Our Home (that's code for doing chores -- see this post for more details).
This particular day, he hadn't yet done his chores... and I agreed with him that I had been getting on him quite a bit for how he was treating his siblings.
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| This is my 12 year old (when he was 10) mirroring me... uh-oh... |
I don't like being the one to point out everything my child is doing wrong. Part of me felt bad for having made him feel bad. I took a deep breath and hugged him and suggested we talk about it... Something I love about him is his willingness to chat. Listening well is one of his talents!
We started discussing what kinds of actions were getting him into trouble. As the chat went on, it became clear that he had been too busy bugging his brothers and sisters to get around to blessing our home.
I just about felt like patting myself on the back when I decided to take what we were learning and phrase it more positively:
If you're busy doing the things you're supposed to be doing, you won't have time to get in trouble!
I can think of all sorts of ways this applies to life! Not just the life of a sweet 12 year old who is feeling worn down, but to all of us who struggle with guilt. I'm sometimes so aware of my own imperfections -- as if I've been reprimanding myself all day -- that it takes away my energy to accomplish the good stuff.
So I'm going to start taking my own advice. I'm going to be so busy with the good stuff that what gets cut out of my time-limited day will be the bad stuff. I won't have time to scowl at my kids because I'm too busy hugging them!
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